Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the obvious flaw here; I’m telling you something whilst simultaneously telling you to guard your ears. Consider this your first test.
I am very fortunate in the past year to have met some excellent people, humans that I think have my best interests at heart and I would like to trust their advice, can you feel the build up to an impressive ‘but’? Here it comes: but, sometimes even with their best intentions, they can say some pretty cruel things.
Recently I’ve been told I’m easily ignored, a threat to happiness and a bully. I’ve had to take these out of context so gently release that sharp intake of breath, they’re not as bad as they sound. I’m not so arrogant as to completely deny their possibility either and as someone who dwells on things in the hope of learning something, I’ve had to do some soul searching.
The first slight was regarding my dancing ability. Boy did that sting. I’m not great but I’m keen to learn and getting better. I also put myself proverbially ‘out there’ at the danger of looking silly. Thankfully I took that one on the chin and proved myself. There will be another blog about some recent successes coming shortly.
The second was harder to brush off. I had been told that an event is just full of lovely people and by my being there I could disrupt the whole atmosphere. Kudos to me for being so powerful! That one really really hurt but I’ve had to look inward. Is it possible I put people on edge so much? It’s fairly dangerous leaving the question mark there because I’m not sure I can take the answer.
The final one was whilst I was in pursuit of some answers. I can understand why the opposition felt the need to stoop to name calling, legally (not even just morally) they were in the wrong, my guess is that attack is the best form of defence and that’s what they went for. Possibly not the best option for those working in sales but a choice open to them none the less.
Hearing these things about myself has been tough, they don’t call it growing pains for nothing. I can’t even say I’m in a better place for it now – if I could shake it off maybe I wouldn’t need to blog about it. So what to do when what you hear is hurtful. You can’t bury your head in the sand, you can’t unring the bell and rising above is bloody hard! Enough metaphor for you? Last one I promise. I’m taking it with a pinch of salt.
I’m not the best dancer in the room, I’m the only version of me that room has though. I’m choosing to be an even bigger cheerleader for those lacking in confidence.
I have a big personality that some like and others don’t. And that’s ok. I’m choosing to love myself, especially when others can’t.
I am a passionate person. I don’t appreciate being judged but I’m only in control of my own actions. I’m working on not judging others.
What is potentially so hard is that all of this happened in the dance world, a place I have celebrated as being supportive and loving. For the most part it is but what I forgot, at least momentarily, is that the dance world is just a smaller version of the real world. It’s full of people. I’m one of them and I’m flawed. If I’ve upset you, judged you, called you mean names I sincerely apologise.
Except for Bert, he deserved it!